


Pas De Deux

by tendertracob



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:25:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4578765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendertracob/pseuds/tendertracob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot based on the song ‘Pas De Deux’ by Dodie Clark. </p>
<p>Troye had talent, passion and will, that was until he met a boy. A boy who wasn’t who Troye thought he was. Connor saw that Troye wasn’t being treated right but he sat back and watched, because all that mattered was that Troye was happy. </p>
<p>Or the one where Troye gets a shitty boyfriend and Connor has to bite his tongue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pas De Deux

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend you listen to the song 'Pas De Deux' whilst reading as Dodie is amazing and her songs are wonderful.
> 
> Disclaimer:I don't own Troye or Connor, This story is purely fiction and it does not reflect on real events whatsoever.

** Aged 16 **

Connor looked on as the faces of strangers passed the café window. Some of whom he had recognised if only in passing. He watched as tired parents tugged their resistant children along, the action reminding Connor of when his sister used to tug along an old rag doll when she was little. The ever looming date of September 1st was causing a panic and frenzy in kids and adults alike.

Connor himself had school to return to but decided to get his mind off of it by taking his friend, Troye out to get coffee. The two sat in relative silence while they sipped at their own respectable caffeinated beverages. The sweet taste of the pumpkin spice latte danced on his tongue as he hummed in appreciation. He glanced up at the blue eyed boy, expecting him to be looking back but instead he was met with an unexpected sight.

Troye was shyly peering out the window, at what seemed like a boy their age who happened to be sitting at the fountain opposite them. The boy looked around their age, with a pair of shining green eyes framed with thick black-rimmed glasses. The boy looked up and glanced at Troye from across the lot, a blush similar to Troye’s spread on his cheeks.

Connor watched as Troye quickly glanced away, and looked down at his coffee. As much as he hated to admit it, the action was adorable. Troye was Connors favourite person, the one human who he could confide in about anything. There was a whole stigma about straight people not being able to be close to people with the opposite sexual orientation, but to Connor it was all bullshit.

Never did he feel uncomfortable about Troye’s taste in partners, although sometimes it would affect him in a completely different way. He would feel resentment towards Troye’s significants, whether they had been a one night stand or a long time boyfriend. Connor was convinced though it was only because he felt protective over the younger boy.

Connor sighed, causing Troye to glance back up at him.

“Do you want me to introduce you to him?”

**~*~**

 “Con it was amazing! We didn’t even do anything that complicated. It was just a simple walk in the park but he bought me coffee, and oh my god, his glasses steamed up because of the steam and just, I don’t know. It was perfect.”

“I’m jealous; he sounds like a great guy”

“Don’t be jealous Con Con, there will be a girl out there for you. He has a sister y’know? Maybe I could ask him about her for you”

“No it’s seriously fine Tro, I just called to make sure everything was okay. I was kind of worried because he didn’t even know you 10 minutes and he suddenly asked you out”

“You don’t have to be so protective, I appreciate it though. Everything was amazing and its all thanks to you, you make a great wingman!”

**~*~**

They were in study hall, students all around them had their heads down and pens in their hands. Most of them had their phones behind their binders and were trying to hide from the wrath of the unruly teacher who was on watch.

The desks were laid out in pairs, Connor and Troye made sure they got there early in order to get seats in the back beside each other. They rarely talked in study lessons, half due to the fact of not wanting to get a strike from the teacher, but also because they were both busy doing their respectable activities.

Connor would usually do his math homework, something which he found boring and unrelenting. It seemed that when you were in the presence of other worked to death teenagers; it made the experience a lot less painful. As he tried to work out the last of his quadratic equations he sighed in annoyance. It was impossible. The more he wrecked himself over the numbers, the more he regretted his choice to do higher maths. 

He glanced over at his friend, who had his head rested on the back of his hand while he stared longingly at the small black notebook in front of him. It wasn’t the first time Connor had seen this notebook, it had quite the reputation between them. In it was filled with hundreds of different song ideas. Some of them where full written songs with chords attached but others ended up being just a chorus or a verse.

Sometimes Connor was blown away at how easily Troye could form melodies; the words seemed to just pour out of his mind and onto the paper in a way that would make Bob Dylan feel envious. Troyes voice was a wide known phenomenon in school. Everyone knew he was talented, he was constantly singing in school choirs and talent shows. However his song writing had been somewhat of a guilty pleasure, he had only told Connor about it a few months prior.

Suddenly Troye dived his pink gel pen towards the paper, quickly writing a verse, then shortly after another. He kept doing this until the small page was filled with messy writing and notes. Connor could hardly decipher what was on the page but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Troye was happy, and that’s all Connor could ask for.

**_She’s walking on rivers, he lifts her above, She’s full of belonging and so full of love_ **

** Aged 17 **

The music was booming loudly through the walls as Connor walked into the small apartment. Shouts erupted from the crowd as people saw him enter the room, his grip tightened around Bethany, causing her look over to him sweetly. Connor had never felt love before, but with Bethany he feels like it could be a possibility. He likes her, a lot. She was sweet and pretty and the perfect girl to bring home. Before Bethany Connor was beginning to think there was something wrong with him, being 17 and never having had a crush on anyone can take a toll on you.

He met her in the library when he went to go research a project. She was there to get some work experience. When Connor saw her he was blown away at how pretty she was, he couldn’t fight the butterflies in his stomach as he stammered out a shy ‘hello’ to her. Apparently she was into shy guys because not a week later they were already making out in the backseat of Connor’s car.

Troye had approved of Bethany and even prompted the idea of a double date between all four of them. Of course Connor declined, he found it quite distasteful how Troye was constantly bossed around by his partner. Even if Connor found it annoying, Troye didn’t mind and he seemed happy so he didn’t want to meddle and ruin it for his best friend.

As he danced with his arms around Bethany’s waist he noticed Troye in the corner of his eye. It caught him off guard as Troye had said he couldn’t go to the party with him because he wasn’t feeling well. Connor shook off the feelings of rejection and hurt and focused into Troye’s angry face.

He brought Beth into his chest and rested his head on her shoulder as they slow danced to _the Sam Smith_ song which was playing in the background. As far as he could see Troye seemed ready to walk away, and he did just that a few minutes later. The taller boy pulled him back quickly by his wrist, an equally angry look on his face. Troye shook his head at the other boy and pulled away roughly and stormed away. Connor could barely catch a glimpse of Troye’s white converse heading up the stairs.

He leant down and whispered in Bethany’s ear, asking her to get them some drinks. Of course she said yes, she was sweet and nice and lovely. She was the perfect girlfriend. Even with a smiling Bethany now walking away from him, all he could think about was Troye. He was convinced it was just because they were best friends.

So without looking back he headed out the door and up the stairs. Immediately heading to the bathroom as he knows that is where Troye would most likely go. He was right as he heard small whimpers coming from inside the room. He used his knuckle to knock softly on the door, and continued the action by saying softly “it’s Connor”. The door was swung open and Troye pulled him into a hug, clutching onto his back tightly.

 “I went to kiss him, and he pulled away. i asked him if he was embarrassed to kiss me, when he didn’t reply that was when I got angry. He told me he was sick of my bullshit and that I was too dramatic. He told me to calm down, I told him that he couldn’t tell me what to do, that’s when he grabbed my wrist. I walked away. I can’t handle this right now con. It hurts so fucking much.”

Connor sighed and pulled Troye towards him again, wrapping his arms around his back and squeezing tightly. “Tro, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Do you not think that I know what’s happening? He’s being an asshole and you deserve better.”

“What, better? Like who con. I love him, and he’s just stressed right now. I know you worry but please don’t, everything is fine it’s just that tonight is a really bad night for both of us. He loves me, and I’ve never had someone love me like he does”

Connor bit back his words and agreed with everything Troye said. Saying things that he wanted hear, saying things that would make him smile. Saying things that would make him happy. After all, what Connor wanted the most was for Troye to be happy...even if he didn’t agree.

**~*~**

 “Oh hey Connor”

“Troye, hello, it’s been forever since you have called back or answered my texts”

“I’m sorry about that con, I’ve just been really busy lately, y’know with all the extra course work for my film class”

“Yeah I get it, it’s okay. I just phoned you to tell you about this awesome competition that’s running in town. Do you remember the music festival they always hold in the town centre?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well this year they are offering two acts to perform in it. It’ll be in front of the whole city, and all you gotta do is audition in the city hall next week”

“That’s really cool con but I don’t-“

“What do you mean you don’t? Don’t what? I thought singing was your passion, something you wanted to do your whole life”

“Connor singing was something I did in my spare time, it’s hardly a future and if I think I’m going to get a job involving singing then I must be delusional. I have a lot of work to do, I’m going to have to go, bye con.”

Connor didn’t get time to respond as the line went dead. Troyes words were circling in his mind, much like sharks which were slowly eating away at his sanity.

_‘Singing was something I DID’. Past tense…_

_‘I must be delisional’_

Connor knew for a fact that them words weren’t Troyes, and he didn’t know what hurt more. That he was shutting him out or that he was letting someone else dictate his future.

**_Are you walking on eggshells? When push comes to shove, are you full of belonging but not full of love._ **

** Aged 19 **

Connor hasn’t heard from Troye in a while, three weeks to be exact. He had given up trying to call him on Skype, knowing it will only go to the answering tone, even though it says he is online. Even when they haven’t been hanging out Connor has noticed Troye around the school. Usually being pulled along by his boyfriend. The school talent show is coming up and this year Troye has opted out of singing in it, much like last year. He said that he doesn’t want to sing anymore which upsets Connor more that he would like to admit.

Even though the blue eyed boy walks around with a smile, it hardly ever meets his eyes. He looks more sad and isolated than ever before. Connor recognised that look; the look of despair and hoping something will make you feel something, anything. The feeling of numbness.

So when he finds out Troye’s boyfriend would be going out of town with his family for two weeks, Connor took the chance. He phoned Troye and talked him into going for a midnight drive. It had been a little hard to get the wary Troye out of his bed but, after a few minutes of pleading and guilt tripping Connor was off the phone and getting ready to pick up Troye.

When he pulled up to the curb he saw a dishevelled looking boy sitting on the front porch of his house. He looked cold even though he had a red scarf wrapped firmly around his neck. It was late November so you could clearly see the breaths leaving Troyes lips as he made his way into the car beside Connor.

Troye looked exhausted, his hair was tousled in a perfect ‘just-got-out-of-bed’ way and his long sleeved grey shirt and red pyjama bottoms signalled to his obvious sleepiness. Even when he looked so tired his eyes seemed to shine brighter than before, and his lips were as red and luscious as Connor remembered.

He may have spent a few seconds too long staring at his lips because Troye cleared his throat awkwardly and shot Connor a bashful smile. The same smile he gave when Connor came out to him last year, it had been an emotional conversation filled with crying and hugging but it had been one of the best days of Connors life.

“How have you been Con Con”

It didn’t take long for them to get back into the swing of things. Before they knew it Troye was making sexual innuendos and Connor was pretending to me shocked at them. Connor had truly missed Troye’s presence and judging by the glee in Troye’s voice ,he must have felt the same.

An hour later they were speeding down the highway at 1am and singing along loudly to LANY. Connor had plugged in the AUX cord and they had been jamming out to their favourite songs. Currently ILYSB was playing and it had been a personal favourite of Connors. Totally not because it reminded him of Troye.

Troye himself looked totally in bliss, his head was back and he was singing loudly to the chorus of the song, he had on a smile so big Connor was scared his mouth would tear. He looked totally in his element and Connor felt so happy that he was the one to make Troye feel like that.

Suddenly he felt angry; it wasn’t fair that Troye didn’t felt like this all the time. Troye deserved someone better, someone who would take care of him, someone who would make him forget about his problems; not cause them. Someone like Connor. He hated to admit it but when he thought of Troye being in a perfect relationship he always thought of himself, he knew for a fact that he would treat Troye right and that Troye would be happy with him.

He didn’t know whether it was the lack of sleep or the McDonalds coffee but he stumbled out his thoughts to Troye, tears spilling over the corner of his eyes as he confessed to how bad it made him feel that Troye wasn’t happy. He told Troye everything from the fact that Troye deserved better to the way he loved seeing Troye happy. By the end of his speech he was out of breath and being pulled into a hug by Troye.

Troye had told him not to worry, that he was happy but sometimes love could be hard. Because that’s what Troye was. In love. There was nothing Connor could do to change that fact. Troye told Connor that he was writing songs again, that he missed singing but he still thinks it’s a bit of a lost cause. He also thanked Connor for being an amazing best friend, and that he loved him too.

But Troye misunderstood. The blue eyed boy knew that Connor loved him as a friend, a best friend. He didn’t know he loved him as more than that. So Connor said nothing, he just let Troye believe what he wanted to believe. Troye was happy and that’s all that mattered, as long as he was happy Connor was happy.

But he couldn’t help but agree with Troye on the fact that love was hard, because he did indeed know that loving someone so much was bound to be difficult. Even more so when they didn’t love you back.

**~*~**

Connor lifts his hand and knocks at the door; waiting for a minute or two before it was opened, revealing a soft smiling Troye. His hair was tousled and he was clad in simple joggers and shirt. It had been a few weeks since that late night car ride, and things felt different.

The air felt more open as he stepped into the house and followed Troye up to his room. They had been talking regularly again, their old flare returning quickly. Troye hasn’t brought up his boyfriend, in which Connor was relieved. He had gotten a text from the younger boy, asking him to come over. Of course Connor didn’t ask why and got into the car a few minutes later, he didn’t want to keep Troye waiting. He didn’t know what to expect when the door to Troyes room was pushed open lightly.

The room itself was painted a soft white colour, which contrasted well to the dark furniture adorning the room. It had been a while since he had been in Troye’s room, solely to the fact that he and Troye hardly spent any time in each other’s houses.

What shocked Connor was the electronic keyboard, which was missing the last time he visited. It was sitting in its rightful spot under the window, a familiar black song book sitting on top of it, not without the bright pink gel pen sitting beside it. He glanced over to Troye with his eyebrows raised, Troye just smiled shyly in return.

The instrument wasn’t just an instrument, it signified so much more. It signified the end of Troye’s toxic relationship and it brought the excitement of the possibility of something new. It meant Troye was free to do as he pleased, and that after all this time he was finally listening to Connors pleas.

Maybe Troye knew what Connor meant in the car, because the next thing he knew, Troye’s hands were around his waist and Connor was leaning closer to Troye.  They were so close Connor felt like he could breathe him in, and if he was given the chance he probably would. After they pull away from a breathless kiss, Troye smiled at him. No it wasn’t just a smile, it was a genuine smile, a promise even.

**~*~**

** Aged 23 **

The crowd was loud and crazy; Connor felt like their screams could be heard from miles away. His chest was bursting with pride as he looked upon his gorgeous boy who was currently in the middle of the stage. He had his bass around his neck; it looked comically big compared to his small frame. It had been years since Troye had been discovered online; he was a household name at this point.

Through it all Connor had been by Troye’s side. Through the nasty tabloid rumours and the signing of his very first record deal. Connor himself had finished his degree in photography and was working with some of the best photography agencies in the states. They had both come so far, they had followed their dreams and Connor couldn’t be more thankful.

As Troye neared the end of his set, he glanced back at Connor whilst announcing his final song. It had been a song which Troye wrote for Connor to celebrate their one year anniversary. It made Connor cry like a baby for three days straight, Troye says it was adorable but of course Connor disagrees.

Troyes smile was secretive as he winked at Connor before turning back the crowd who had gone crazy at the action. If he had looked back around he would have seen Connor with a bright red face, a goofy smile adorning his features. Connor was just so happy, not just because Troye was happy but because they both were; together.

**_Souls, hearts and minds intertwined. No I won’t be defined by him anymore._ **

**_She’s walking on river, he lifts her above, they’re full of belonging and so full of love._ **


End file.
